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A tale…

A tale of two city centres. This morning, Hull. Full of the ultra miserable, dowdy, down-at-heel types in their Donnay clothing, all pushing their way past each other in some kind of rush to absolutely nowhere. Incident of road rage on Prospect Street, as a car pulls out in front of a bus. No one, but me, appears to take any notice of all the shouting as the driver rushes out of his car to threaten the bus driver, who insists that “you’re in a bus lane, dumbo” despite the fact that there is no bus lane. In Woolworths, checking out the Easter eggs, staff re-stocking the displays prevent customers from actually buying anything and tut with disgust when people ask them the prices of the unmarked eggs. Later, in York, rather jolly, happy, optimistic sorts flood the streets, all walking very slowly and occasionally stopping for no good reason right in front of us. Sam demonsrates an hilariously comic face that involves him sucking his nostrils shut. A large crowd gather around a dodgy-looking alcho with a guitar whose musical stylings are accompanied by a howling border collie. A ridiculous queue unaware that there are other places to eat in York awaits the overexaggerated delights of Betty’s tea shoppe. No shoe emporiums carry the correct type of pink and black Vans that Danielle is in search of, and she has to settle for a pair of Duffs. Staff member in Boots can’t believe I have the raw nerve to enquire where a certain type of hair product resides and leaves me in no doubt that I shouldn’t have interrupted her. An incident of road rage on the ride back to the park part of the park and ride, as the bus driver shouts at a passing car who he wrongly thinks has ‘undertaken’ him even though there were two lanes moving along quite happily. He takes the trouble to open his doors to shout ‘got a problem?’ at the car driver, who responds with the two fingered salute through glass – a move that makes the rammed full bus ‘oooh’ en masse with shock. Both cities are odd places to be.

Strange image mix-up in The Guardian’s Guide. A preview of A Bug’s Life is accompanied by a picture of Nelson Mandella. Just remind me who he did the voice for???

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