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We have bought Penny, our cat, a new litter tray. It has baffled her. It is much bigger and much deeper than her previous tray and, although she’s given it a slight inspection and hopped in and out, she doesn’t appear to want to use it. I am bracing myself for a dining room floor full of cat faeces tomorrow morning. I will discover it, no doubt, as I step into it all barefoot. She doesn’t care the we have spent money on the upgrade. She would prefer to use her old tray, which had been soiled to a ‘whathefuarewegonnadowithis?’ level of disgust. Penny is a peculiar cat. She has thumbs and can pick pens, pencils and Wrigley’s chewing gum up. She waits until we are watching her before ripping big threads out of the carpet and sofa. When she needs attention, she punches M in the eye.

Pizza for tea. I watched the delivery man pull up outside and then the phone rang, so I had to dash upstairs to answer it. When I picked up, it was the delivery man, who claimed he couldn’t find our street. Had to tell him he had found it and was actually parked outside the house that was waiting for pizza. All very strange. And, when he’d laughed about how silly it all was, he drove off. And minutes later I realised that several parts of the order were missing. Grrrrr. When I was in the bath getting scrubbed up for Harrogate I ducked under the water and realised that you can hear a train coming a good five minutes before you can hear it when your head is above water. Which is an absolutely pointless discovery unless you happen to be in a bath that’s been chained to a rail track.

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