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Am struggling to come up with an idea for the weekly column I write here. 400 words weekly on ‘anything’ I choose to write about slightly leisure and entertainment-related can be a bind. And I’m only four weeks in! And I’m falling behind with my blog entries! And I’m trying to write a submission for a commission for the Hull Literature Festival! And write two new plays! But have no time! And I can’t stop hitting the ! key!

So, what should I write about? What have I been doing? Reading. But I can’t bore people with Murakami – which is what I’ve had my nose buried in (tho I’ve gotta say if I’d read Sputnik Sweetheart first I probably wouldn’t have read any of his other stuff). Tho I did stroke my James Kelman (not a euphamism!) last night and thought I should tuck back into that soon. Or I could harp on about music, after giving Danielle and Scott an insight into the Sex Pistols (this is Johnny, who you may remember from such programmes as I’m A Celebrity Anarchist, Get Me Out of Here). But 400 words? I’ve just about said all I want to say on both of the above. Or, oh yes, I could do that hilarious columnist’s trick of writing about writing about writing the column. Or, if all else fails, I could write about telly – that seems to work for other columnists here. Or there’s always snapping the car aerial by sending a wardrobe through the sunroof in an effort to get it (the wardrobe, the sunroof would have travelled with the rest of the car anyway) home from Ikea.

And venting my spleen here hasn’t helped at all. F**K!

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